The Good News Department

News briefs from the first Good News Department

By Ed Tasca

UFO Abductee Says Scary Medical Exam Covered by IMSS
 

“I almost gave up on this, but authorities declared that I’m entitled to a benefit. UFO wouldn’t take a credit card,” Emanuel Palma told reporters on the weekend.

Scientists Solve Decades-old Soccer Mystery  
         

University of Guadalajara  researchers discover that total scores
from the last Soccer Tournament: 01001111
0000110011001101010111110100111000011
0101100101101010011001101010110101010
11101011111010101011010101010101011 is
actually digital binary WordPerfect code for
the phrase: “Is that it?”
 

Letter from Cortez Finally Arrives

Mexico City. A letter written on a palm frond and sent by Montezuma to Hernando Cortez arrived at the central post office in DF. It was postmarked May, 1567. It reads, “Hernando, welcome to our land, but please be careful of the water.” Regrettably, the letter was lost in the postal system. Handwriting experts are investigating its authenticity.

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